The Real Growlerville 18: Noise Thief In The Bottomless Bag

(A first hand account by investigative journalist, Mr. E)

"You mean the Bottomless?" She pulls it out of her backpack. Folded up, it barely takes up any space, but the Bottomless Bag is a wonder to behold.

If you remember, she confiscated it from the kids at the theater. When I ask her why she took it, and what the kids were doing with it, she can't believe I'm so ignorant. Under the new regulations for encrusted products, the Bottomless Bag is illegal. "It's dangerous! Look!"

She holds it open before me. I am confused by the illogical perception of this encrusted space! You can hear the sounds of wind and distance. Looking in, the bottom is not discernible, and my instincts tell me not to fall in.

Though the bag is only a few inches deep, I can insert my entire arm into it without feeling the bottom.

"Put something into it." My handkerchief goes in. "More." My shoes. "More." My jacket.

At this point, the bag still appears exactly the same - it has not increased in size or weight in spite of its contents. Now I get it. The kids snuck into the theater inside the bag, brought in by the two who paid for tickets. What a racket. No wonder it's illegal.

*****************************

A call comes in. "Bebe here. That can wait until after Moon At Midnight." She's talking to Janine. "Oooh. That's a problem. Give me the details..." She's getting up, but I need to get my shoes and jacket back. Reaching into the bag is not working. "Turn it over," she motions me, interrupting her call. Holding it upside down over my lap, my stuff tumbles out after a brief delay.

Then, I become aware that something else came out. Something I can feel in my lap, but something I cannot see. I say, "There's something invisible on my lap!" but I cannot hear my words, so I point.

I'm shouting, but there's only silence. The entire cafe is silent.

Then I notice that Bebe's trying to speak to dispatch, and now she's reaching for a glass of water... At the same moment, the thing in my lap jumps off of me, just as Bebe throws the water at it.

I can't believe she did that!                                  I'm soaked!

As we sit, unable to speak, I remember a previous experience with the little creature that eats sounds.

If Bebe had hit it with the water, we would have been able to see it...

"...you hear me? Ok, we're back now. Janine, I'm here!

No no no. No problem. Let Environmental know that a Noise Thief is somewhere near Elma's.

I'm headed to the warehouse per the plan."

*****************************

We're going to check out a problem at the Moon At Midnight warehouse, where the recalled Bottomless Bags are being stored, supposedly under high security.

The warehouse is behind the big store at the mall, and is a massive brick building. The manager is waiting for Bebe. He's a skinny, nervous guy named Sal, who invites us inside.

But Bebe has other ideas. With Sal, we walk around the perimeter of the building. Almost immediately, she finds a hole in the wall. It's almost perfectly round.

We go through (the hole) and find ourselves in the T9 section. Bebe explains that this is where the products made from T9, including the Bottomless Bag, are stored.

Sal is really embarrassed, as if this breach is his responsibility.

Maybe it is.

Maybe he's the problem.

next - Way Out